Build your English confidence step-by-step [7-day challenge]

If you know English, but you feel like you don't have the confidence to fully express yourself and to speak whenever you need to, this episode is for you. Because today we're not gonna talk about fluency, we're not gonna talk about pronunciation or strategies to improve your vocabulary. Today we're gonna talk about how you can build your confidence so you can use the English that you know more confidently, more freely and more fluently.

Sometimes improving your fluency is not about learning more, it's about using what you already know. And the reason why you're not fully using it is because maybe you have fears, anxiety, thought patterns and some kind of negative experience that prevent you from showing up in English and using the English that you know. Because today I'm going to offer you a 7-day confidence boost to help you build your confidence and understand the challenges that prevent you from tapping into your full potential in English.

So like I shared with you before, confidence is not something that you are necessarily born with. Confidence is a skill that you can actually build. Now, usually the thought pattern of non-native speakers is that, "When I become fluent, when I know more English, when I stopped making mistakes, that's when I'll be more confident." But the other way around is true: you have to build confidence, and that is internal mindset work to be able to use more English, practice confidently, not to be afraid of mistakes so that you can make progress consistently.

So in this video, I'm going to share with you common things that get in the way of your confidence, and I'm also going to invite you to a 7-day challenge. It's going to be an email challenge where you sign up. And every day you're going to get a piece of advice and a short exercise for you to do, something to reflect on so that you can build your confidence in English. And not just in English, because confidence is not just about one area of your life, it starts kind of like you have the ripple effect, where you start becoming more confident in other areas in your life.

I have seen a lot of my students who have worked on building their confidence through mindset work, and some of the things that I offer in the 7-day challenge, and the results have been incredible. Without learning more English and without practicing more, they were able to go to job interviews, communicate with neighbors and friends, to speak more at work, to get a promotion, ask for a raise, and so many incredible things. And these are real stories of my students. And it wasn't just about their English work, it was really about building their confidence that allowed them to use English more regularly.

So if you want to participate in the 7-day Challenge, it is absolutely free. Click the link below and you'll get a series of seven emails, one every day, with a piece of advice and a small task for you to build your confidence.

So the first challenge that we face is perfectionism: feeling and thinking like we need to be perfect, our English needs to be perfect, we can't make mistakes, our syntax and grammar needs to be perfect, our pronunciation needs to be perfect. Now, it doesn't mean that you won't speak, you just might feel insecure or you might have that voice in your head saying, "It's not good enough. It's not perfect. You need to work harder. You need to work more."

And that feeling like never being good enough, which is another thing that we struggle with, is connected to perfectionism. Because you have this ideal and this ideal doesn't exist, perfectionism does not exist, it's not a real thing. Like we are humans, humans are not perfect. Our beauty is in our imperfection, and you have to remember that. And if you always strive for perfection, it's good, like I'm always about achieving more. But if you let that stop you, and if it becomes something that haunts you, that makes you feel bad constantly about what you do do and how you do speak and how you do say words, then you are not gonna enjoy using English, you're gonna avoid it. And at the end of the day, you won't improve and you won't progress. So perfectionism is a huge obstacle that we need to tackle.

Another thing is the fear of making mistakes. It's connected to perfectionism, but it's... I would put it in its own category. Because people are so afraid of being perceived as not intelligent or as if their English is not good enough, and that is connected with a fear of making mistakes.

Now, I think that the problem starts in school because when you learn a second language or when you learn anything, it's either you get it right or you don't. It's either you say the right thing or you don't, and you get points for saying the right thing or giving the right answer, and you lose points or you get punished for making mistakes or saying the wrong answers.

And I think that pattern, that binary idea of either you're right or you're wrong, is the foundation of how we think about learning a language or speaking another language. And being constantly afraid of making mistakes like we were in school, is really not helping you feel free and speak freely. Because you're always thinking, you're always judging yourself, there's always that editor in your head thinking about what you're saying. And instead of confidently communicating, being present, listening to the other person, you're constantly editing yourself or overthinking after you're saying something. And like, "Did I say it right? Was it a mistake?" And then sometimes beating yourself up for making a mistake. That cycle is not healthy, and you absolutely need to solve it by working on your confidence, by learning how to let go of those negative thoughts.

Now, I have a lot of videos and lessons about building confidence and tapping into the right mindset, so I'm going to list all of them in the description and the show notes. But if you want to get a concise confidence practice, then make sure to sign up for the 7-day Confidence Challenge.

Something else that I want you to pay attention to that might be impacting your confidence, is maybe the belief in your true potential or in your ability to reach your goals. For example, let's say your goal is to speak freely and confidently and fluently and to be expressive in English. But let's just say that this is your goal, but also you have this belief and thought that, "Oh, but it's not possible because I don't live in an English speaking country", or "It's not possible because I'm not smart enough", or "It's not possible because I didn't get the right education growing up. It's not possible."

So you have all these reasons and all these limiting beliefs telling you why it's not possible. So even though you might have a goal, there is like something in the mechanism of your brain that tells you it's not possible. Now, if that is the case, then you're not gonna have the motivation to take action, you're not gonna feel inspired and excited to do this work. You're going to hesitate, you're going to have doubt, you're going to procrastinate, you're going to overthink it. And as a result, you're not gonna take the right action and you're not gonna improve, you're not gonna be able to tap into your potential and to reach your goals.

So at the end of the day, even though we might be clear on what we wanna get, if we have limiting beliefs and lack of belief that it's possible for us, or maybe that we don't deserve it, or maybe that we're not worth it to invest the time and energy and the money and the focus. Maybe if we don't believe that this time is worth it because we don't believe it's possible for us, then what we'll end up seeing is us staying stuck, us not hitting our goals, and us not believing that it's possible and not making it possible for yourself.

Another thing that might get in the way of your confidence is the impostor syndrome. Now, I have an entire episode recorded about it where I go deep into discussing this topic, but in short, impostor syndrome is really a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments, and they have like a persistent and irrational fear of being exposed as a fraud. Even though they have evidence of their achievements and being competent, they just don't believe it, they feel like they're fraud, that people see it, but it's not real. And these people usually experience a lot of self-doubt, anxiety, and they're not able to celebrate their success. Constantly feeling like they're not good enough, they don't belong, and the way people perceive them is not how they really and truly are.

Now, I think that that's relevant for all aspects of life, but especially when it comes to English, feeling like an impostor, when you have a conversation with someone and in your head you're like, "Well, they think that I know English, but actually if they have a deeper conversation with me, they'll find out that I actually don't know English as well as it looks like or it's perceived to be on the surface. They'll find out that I don't know grammar. They'll find out that my vocabulary is limited. They'll find out that I'm a fraud, that I don't really know English, even though it seems like it on the surface."

And these people have a hard time celebrating their achievements, where their progress in English, it always feels like it's not good enough, it's not, you know, they haven't progressed enough. So if that resonates with you, then again, acknowledge that it's a real thing and that you can actually deal with that by understanding it, becoming more aware and not letting it drive you forward, and not letting it impact the decisions you make and how you feel.

Now, again, in the 7-day confidence challenge, we are going to address it, so definitely, definitely make sure you sign up for it. It's absolutely free because I really want to help you build the confidence that you deserve to speak the English that you know.

Now, before we wrap up, I want you to know this – I believe in you 1000%. Even though it sometimes might feel impossible to reach your goals, and it might feel like all the negative thoughts and the judgment is going to consume you and it might feel overwhelming, I want you to know that it's possible to manage it. And not only that, you have to manage it because it gets in the way of your own success and joy of using English.

And then you don't show up like yourself, you don't feel authentic, and you feel like a limited version of yourself. And like I said, all of that can be resolved, not with more grammar and more vocabulary, but really focused mindset work that will help you tackle all these obstacles, overcome them, understand your thinking patterns, and move on to your more confident and more expressive stage. And I am here for it. Okay? So make sure you sign up for the 7-day Confidence Challenge. And I will be here in the comments if you have any questions.

Have a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day, and I'll see you next week in the next video. Bye.