Do you sometimes have those intrusive, limiting beliefs about your English? The ones that just pop up and mess with your mind and ruin your confidence?
Of course you do! We all do.
Repetitive negative thoughts are patterns.
We are creatures of patterns and habits.
We wake up, brush our teeth, go to work.
We do things on autopilot because it helps us save time and energy. We get used to doing something again and again and it makes us feel safe and comfortable, even if it’s bad for us.
But every now and then something happens that snaps us out of our patterns and forces us to pay attention to what we are doing. Or thinking.
It is called Pattern Interrupt.
And you can do it with your negative thoughts. You’d be amazed at how easy it is 🙂
TRANSCRIPT
Do you know this thing where you’re about to speak or while you’re speaking English, you have all those negative, repetitive thoughts coming up. Things like, “You made a mistake.” “Oh, you’re going to sound stupid.” “Don’t say that, that doesn’t make any sense.” “You sound funny.” “You mispronounced it.” “You made another grammar mistake.” “They’re gonna think you’re stupid.” So on and so forth.
And let’s agree that these thoughts are not serving you, right? Because you already know they’re counterproductive and they are ruining your confidence showing up and speaking in English. So what I’m going to do in this video, I’m going to teach you something really simple that is going to help you deal with those negative, repetitive thoughts and help you speak with more confidence and fluency in English.
But before we begin, if you are new here, then welcome to my kingdom. My name is Hadar, and I’m a speech and fluency coach, and I’m here to help you feel confident, speak clearly and have the freedom in English that you have in your native language. So if you’ll find this video valuable, then consider subscribing. And when you do, click on the bell to get notifications, just to make sure that you don’t miss out on the important videos.
So let’s go into what you need to do when you start driving yourself crazy with all those negative thoughts that are not serving you. Before I’m going to tell you what you need to do when you start these negative thoughts, I want you to remember that these negative thoughts are your fears, insecurities and beliefs that you have about yourself, coming up to the surface as you start speaking in English.
If this is something that you have ideas about, or you’ve been told before that you don’t sound clear, or you have an accent, or you’ll never be able to learn English – that develops negative beliefs, beliefs that prevent you from fulfilling your full potential. And as a result, you start believing these things, and these beliefs are manifested in those repetitive thoughts. Or on the contrary – you start having these repetitive thoughts and ultimately forming a belief. A belief is not reality.
So that means that these are just thoughts, and as such, they don’t represent our true reality. Even if you feel that you’re stupid, it doesn’t mean that you’re stupid when you’re speaking English. Even if you feel that your accent is thick, it does not mean that other people feel that too, or that you are unclear, or your belief about having a thick accent may not be the belief that everyone holds.
So, remember that these are just thoughts. And as such, because you are the thinker of your thoughts, these thoughts can be changed. And the way we’re going to change them is through pattern interrupt. Pattern interrupt is something that we do to break a certain pattern that we have. In this case – these negative repetitive thoughts.
We are human beings. And as human beings, we are creatures of patterns. It allows us to live life in a more automatic way. Like, you know, brushing your teeth or driving to work. When you drive to work, you’re not like thinking about where you’re going to take the next turn; or you’re not thinking about navigating the car between the cars, you’re doing it on autopilot. Right? And then, for example, let’s say something happens, like there is a traffic jam that is unexpected, or all of a sudden, they block the road – that creates a pattern interrupt. And you all of a sudden start becoming more conscious of your reality and you start thinking differently than you normally would.
Same thing with brushing your teeth. Let’s say, every day you go in the morning to the bathroom, you brush your teeth and that’s it. And one morning, you go to the bathroom and then you reach out to grab your toothbrush and you can’t find it. And it’s nowhere to be found. Right? All of a sudden, you’ll start thinking about the fact that you need to brush your teeth. Automatically, usually, you don’t think about it – it’s something that happens automatically. But once the pattern has been interrupted, then you start thinking about what it is that you’re doing.
So, your pattern right now is to start having those negative thoughts and the negative self-talk every time you’re about to speak English, every time you think about English or every time you are speaking English. And that is a pattern. So just like with the previous examples, we want to break that pattern. And how do we do that? With two simple words. “Stop it”. That’s it.
“Oh, my God, Hadar, you sound so bad. Your English is awful. You sound like a fraud…”
“Stop it!”
“You keep making mistakes, even though…”
“Stop it!”
“And people are gonna make fun of…”
“Stop it.”
“They’re gonna think I’m stupid.”
“STOP IT!”
“But…”
“Okay.”
As you can see, those negative thoughts are your pattern. And simply saying, “Oh, stop it!” will help you to interrupt that pattern. The pattern feels safe and familiar, but we got to step out of what’s familiar if we want to create change in our lives. So a change in pattern creates change in the results that we see in our lives.
And remember, you’re not creating those thoughts every time you start speaking English, it’s your pattern. And the pattern interrupt – simply saying “stop it” – will help you think for yourself; and recognize that this is not serving, you don’t have to continue with that and you can change it. Because you are the thinker of your thoughts. And you can truly see different results if you change how you think. That’s it. So, simply “stop it”.
Thank you so much for being here. I am truly honored and grateful to serve you. And remember, speak up because mistakes is the only way to learn. Have a beautiful day, and I’ll see you in the next video. Bye.
More episodes that can help:
Speak English Like A Native Speaker – THE MYTH
The TRUTH About How We TALK And How We Get HEARD ✊ With Samara Bay
Why Perfectionism Will KILL Your Fluency
From FEAR to FREEDOM: Inspirational Success Stories of English Learners
How To Get Over The Fear Of Being Judged When Speaking English
Live: The fluent mindset | How changing your thoughts can improve your fluency
23 Responses
We are so lucky to have one brilliant English coach while pity the world lost one talented actress!
Hi Hadar. Always mesmerized by the way you explained things. Thank so much .
I really enjoyed your video.
Take cre of yourself.
Aura.
I do like the strategy “Stop it” to get rid of negative repetitive thoughts… 🙂
Hi Hater! All your video and tips are highly motivating. Due to them I don’t stop my learning English … though sometime I want to give everything up.
Actually it is not easy to start such difficult things in in adulthood. For example my 3-year-old grandson speaks English better than Russian because his brain is like a sponge and mine is like… doesn’t matter :)))
Anyway your help is priceless!!!
Thank you and take care of yourself, we all love you 🙂
Lorina
Hi Hadar!
I love yours videos and the way you share the ideas with us. It is always encouraging and interesting.
Thank you,
Sveta
Hi hadar!
i am not a bad english speaker like what i did in my recent phone call interview just because these nagetive thoughts, contunously interrupting me. I hope this will help me to stop those thoughts.
Your videos are helping me alot..
Thanks
Dear Hadar ! I’m a bit distracted by several facts (first of all by events of American Election.) Nevertheless, your very kind letter and video inspire me to answer. Your high education certainly included Adler’s psychology – psychiatry. As you know, he had been the founder of the “Second School of Wien” just after Freud. He put in the center of his thoughts the “Inferiority Complex”. There is certainly a human trait combined with anxiety which makes anyone more or less inclined to inferiority complex. This may be effective over the entire life of that kind of person and may need treatment. Sure, it strongly influences language learning, too. If you let me point out, your technique is a bit influenced by the American behaviorist school. Behaviorism is all right and by your hand certainly produces excellent results particularly in case of young population.. For elderly people I liked better the analytical methods. (I mean, when I actively practised psychiatry.)
Have you ever tried to cope with inferiority problems of an elderly person in learning English by existential analysis ? Thank you so much for the picture about your Mother, Sister and about you with the bubble gum. Thank you again for your heartfelt personality and for the beautiful video.
Laszlo Latzkovits
Hi Hadar,
I really like the way you encourage and I do enjoy learning from you. Please please please keep making more enthusiastic videos like these ways you did. I really want to listen more.
Thanks a bunch
Nikita
Hi, Hadar! Hope this find you well! Thanks for sharing your picture with your family, it is so beautiful and have so many meaningful memories! Thanks also to teach us such a thing that sometimes we think that happen only with us. It so great to hear from you about things that is always in our mind…. Much love!
Hi, Hadar
God given to you a special way to communicate. I love it.
I’ll follow your counsels and wacht your video.
thanks for all your help.
Hug.
Natanael
Hi ,Hadar,
Love to see your childhood portrait and deep influencing words.
Thanks , stay blessed.
Dear Hadar, thank you so much for the endearing words and the childhood history accompanying this video, photo included. You manage to show your closeness and your empathy, and it seems that this video comes at just the right moment for me. Especially on my third day with your “beyond” course. You don’t know how I thank you for reminding me that only we are responsible for our own thoughts.
Thanks for being there.
Dear Hadar,
I would like to say thank you for all the videos and the pieces of advice you’re granting us in brilliant way. I love the way you explain things.
Keep it up!
Hi Hadar, your video is awesome. I want to say much more positive about you but unfortunately I haven’t enough vocabulary with appropriate sentence structure. I am in learning process but I will must say that I am feeling energetic inside after watching your video.
Plz correct my sentences where I am wrong and give me any advice for improving my English language.
hey Hadar,
I love it when you share personal anecdotes 🙂 thanks again for everything and being who you are!
It was really lovely Hadar,
Thanks a lot, I really admire you. You have change my mind and I have become more confident speaking English. Lots of blessings and hugs.
See you soon
Hi Haddar.
The history of the elevator is fascinating, I loved it. The photography with the chiclet is a beauty. Thank you for sharing all your brilliance and wisdom in its fullest expression.
Hug
Hello Hadar! Thank you so much for sharing your childhood memories and the very lovely picture with your family. I really appreciate it. You can’t even imagine how much you have helped me improving my accent and getting rid of my fears of speaking English. You are the best!
Hello Hadar,
I always enjoy reading your e-mails you certainly have a voice and a very powerful one, when it comes to saying things in a way that can really touch people’s hearts.
Your videos are amazing not only for English learners but for learners of any language, what you are sharing is not only techniques that will improve your understanding but also and more importantly a new way to see life in a totally different and more bright way.
We can not thank you enough for all your help.
Hi Hadar,
I’m delighted with your photo of your beautiful childhood!
This fears are part of my life and is not easy to eliminate it!
I’ll try to follow your method in order to throw out this awful and negative thoughts about my English pronunciation!
I’m totally impressed with your face while you were screaming stop it! I liked it!
You are amazing! You are the best coach!
Thanks a lot.
Bye!
Hi Hadar
I learned a lot from your videos on YouTube. I appreciate your efforts. Keep it up
Hanane
Hi Hadar,
A short reply to your email.
We have a thing in common: I had a fear of elevator too!
Hello Hadar,
Wow! I like your picture with the bubble gum. Thanks for sharing.
I really enjoyed this video and absolutely recognised myself. So true!
Thanks for always encouraging and inspiring the people!
Love,
Arielle