How to (politely) disagree with someone: Start with these phrases

Podcast intro:

Welcome to the InFluency Podcast. I'm Hadar, and this is episode number 388. And today we're going to talk about how to disagree with someone.

Hey everyone, thank you so much for being here. Today, I definitely do not disagree with the fact that you're listening to this podcast right now. However, I do tend to disagree with things I don't agree with. Does that make sense? Sounds a little bit redundant, but it's true.

How do you disagree with someone? Are you the type of person who directly says, "Oh no, I don't think so." Or maybe you're like, "Oh no, that's not a good idea, but I have a better idea." I sound like my daughter when I say that. "No, going to the park is not a good idea, but let's go to the store. That's a much better idea."

Are you the type of person who tends to avoid disagreeing with someone? And is it harder for you to disagree with someone in English more than, let's say, in your first language? So whatever the answer is, I think today's episode is going to be valuable for you because today I'm going to teach you seven different phrases to use when you disagree with someone.

This is especially valuable if you work in English, where there is a code of how to say things in a way that is not offensive and not too aggressive, and respects the other person's opinion but still allows you to say something that would be in contrast to what the other person said.

So technically we can call today's episode "7 Phrases to Use When You Want to Politely Disagree With Someone". I hope you enjoy it.

Video transcript:

Disagreeing with someone is not always comfortable.

"So I think we should hire Amy to do our PR..."

"What? No."

"I'm sorry, why not?"

"Because it's a terrible idea."

"Okay..."

Disagreeing with someone is not always comfortable. First of all, because we don't want to make people upset. And second, because we don't always know what the right way to do it is. In some cultures, simply saying "No, no, no" and then saying something else is enough and acceptable. But in other cultures, in American culture for example, it is less acceptable and might be considered as impolite.

So, in this video, I'm going to share with you some phrases and sentences that you can use when you disagree with someone, so it can anchor you and help you communicate your opinion and your thoughts confidently and clearly.

So the first phrase you can use is, "I hear what you're saying, but I see it differently". So the first thing that you're going to say is, "I hear what you're saying", which means "I hear you. I understand your point of view". And then there is a but: "but I think differently". So you're acknowledging them, but also you're setting up your argument that is going to be different than theirs.

Let's practice it together. "I hear what you're saying". You can even reduce it together: wha-ch'r, wha-ch'r, wha-ch'r. "I hear what you're saying, but I see it differently". And then you can say, "Let me explain", or "I'll tell you what I mean", and then state your opinion.

Another phrase is, "I don't entirely agree, but I see where you're coming from". So again, acknowledging what they say. Now, of course, use it when you do agree with some of the things that the other person said. Okay? You don't need to lie. But it's a really good segue, or transition, from acknowledging what they said and now saying what I have to say.

"I don't entirely agree", that means I partly agree. "I don't entirely agree, but I see where you're coming from". You can also just say, "I see where you're coming from, but here's what I think", right? But this phrase, "I see where you're coming from", is a good way to acknowledge the other person's thoughts or opinions.

Another phrase that you can use is, "What if we approached it from a different angle?" "What if we approached it from a different angle?" You can also say, "What if we tackled it from a different angle?" So here you're not referring or commenting on their idea, you're just suggesting a new way to think about it. "What if we approached it from a different angle?" There's something innovative about it, and it might be less offensive to the other person. It's probably better than, "No, it's a terrible idea! What were you thinking?"

Another phrase, "I agree with a general idea, but I do have some reservations about..." "I do agree with the general idea", right? So again, you're acknowledging some of what they said. Or, "I agree with the general idea, but I have some reservations". So, I agree with the general idea, but I have some reservations that I'd like to share with you right now. Okay? So that's another great idea to disagree, but really to share what you don't like about their idea. But that way you're saying it in a way that is easy for people to hear.

Because when you disagree with someone right away – "No, that's a bad idea", they shut down and they're not going to be open to your idea. When you partly agree and you tell them what you think is the issue with their idea, they're more likely to hear it, for the most part.

Now, another way to disagree with someone is, "I could be wrong, but my understanding is that..." blah, blah, blah. "I could be wrong", so you're not positioning yourself as the authority, but then you're saying something that might reject or negate what the other person said. "I could be wrong, but my understanding is that we don't own a property in the South." "I could be wrong, but my understanding is that we don't have the budget to promote it on Facebook."

You can also say, "I might be missing something, but my understanding is that..." Right? I could be wrong or I might be missing something. I'm taking it on me. It's me, I'm the problem here. I just didn't see the whole picture, while probably you know what things are like and you have the big picture, but you are, it's a humble way to disagree. Okay?

So I could be wrong or I might be missing something, but... And hey, maybe you are missing something and then they would tell you why you are wrong and they are right. But either way, these phrases, especially if you memorize them and practice them, would be very, very helpful whenever you need to disagree with someone and share a different opinion than the other person.

All right, that's it. If you have other phrases or sentences that you think are useful, share them in the comments below. In the meantime, thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider sharing and subscribing, especially share it with all those people who don't really know how to politely disagree with someone, I think they might find it helpful.

And either way, subscribe to my channel to get updates about any new video that I release. You can also check out my website hadarshemesh.com, where you'll find a ton of resources to help you speak English with clarity, confidence, and freedom. Have a beautiful, beautiful day, and I will see you next week in the next video. Bye.